A Mother and Daughter Relearning Each Other

This thread traces Devorah’s movement from the wound of maternal abandonment toward a cautious adult relationship with Rachel Levy, built on newly shared history and limited acts of connection.

increasingBearing stren­gth in each eventdecreasing

The Mother Who Disappeared

The Mother Who Disappeared An Early Separation Rachel Levy leaves the Satmar community while Devorah is still very young, and Devorah remains with her grandparents. The separation becomes part of Devorah’s upbringing before she is old enough to understand its circumstances. A Story Told by Others For years, Devorah receives explanations shaped by family judgment and scandal. Her mother’s absence is less a relationship than an unanswered question, and Devorah grows up unsure whether Rachel chose a new life over her or was driven away by forces she cannot see.

A Birthday Interview

A Birthday Interview Choosing to Ask A year after leaving, Devorah meets Rachel Levy for lunch in Manhattan to ask about the past. Writing her life story has made her recognize that an honest account cannot rely only on what others said about her mother. Two Different Departures Rachel describes arriving from England through an arranged marriage that promised security, a new home, and a place in an affluent family. Devorah recognizes that her mother’s departure was shaped by hardship and the search for safety, while her own escape is driven more strongly by a desire for happiness and self-determination.

The Explanation of Abandonment

The Explanation of Abandonment The Mother’s Account Rachel says she wanted to take Devorah with her but had no money and feared the family’s threats. She recalls being treated as an outsider after the initial excitement of her marriage faded, and describes Chaya as having taken control of Devorah’s upbringing. A Painful Partial Repair Devorah can hear the practical reasons for the separation without undoing the loneliness it caused. The conversation allows her to see Rachel as a person with limited choices, but it cannot instantly supply the years of closeness neither woman experienced.

A Voice in the Documentary

A Voice in the Documentary A New Piece of the Past While watching a documentary about gay Orthodox Jews, Devorah recognizes Rachel Levy among the contributors. Rachel says she left Williamsburg because she was gay, revealing a reason for her departure that Devorah had never been told. Reinterpreting Her Mother The discovery unsettles Devorah because it suggests that she had misunderstood her mother’s life and that others may have known more than she did. Rather than immediately seeking a confrontation, Devorah sends Rachel flowers for Shavuos, a small gesture that acknowledges the new knowledge without pretending that intimacy has already been restored.

The Call She Does Not Answer

The Call She Does Not Answer A Tentative Reach Rachel calls to thank Devorah for the flowers, and her recorded message carries the surprise of receiving care from a daughter who has long felt distant. Devorah listens to the message and recognizes that this woman is her mother, while also acknowledging that she feels little immediate connection. Room for a Future Devorah does not pick up the call, but neither does she dismiss the attempt. Their relationship remains uncertain, formed by years of separation and the limits of what a single conversation can repair; the flowers nonetheless make contact possible on terms Devorah has chosen herself.

When Devorah is a toddler

On the eve of Devorah’s twenty-fourth birthday, August 2010

During the birthday lunch in Manhattan

After Devorah and Eli move to Airmont

After Devorah sends flowers for Shavuos